Confessions of a Fool
by crunchie11
Summary: Tamaki's life was made of millions of things, of emotions, people, and moments pieced together to create the intricate jigsaw he was. 100 Themes Challenge, Tamaki-centred.
1. The First Time

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**A/N: I was bound to do this sometime. I got the idea EONS ago...and got the title from _Confession of a Shopaholic._ Don't ask. Please.**

**It's all about deario Tamaki! Um, totally TamaxHaru. I don't know... :/ I'm using the list from .com/blog/33698666/ ! Wow! So...**

**So. On with the (admittedly crap) show... YAY!**

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_Introduction_

Tamaki loved introductions. There was something about them he found magnetic, hypnotic, pulling him back to them again and again. Maybe it was meeting another person, maybe it was the promise of more fun ahead, maybe it was the challenge of more secrets to find out.

Tamaki's introductions were always dramatic and loud, self-centred and flamboyant. But that was just who he was. Like how Mori's had been silent, but trustful. How Hunny's had been pretend but innocent. How Kaoru's and Hikaru's were messed-up, twisted, not-quite-introductions at all. How Kyoya's was a smile and a shake, a friendship to be.

It was Haruhi's who he loved the most. It may seem strange, but the way she just appeared at their door, mistaken for a boy then knocking over the vase... How her introduction hadn't quite been an introduction, how it was just Tamaki repeating her name to her and status. But he liked it that way. How her introduction wasn't, 'Hi, my name is,' but was something he learned over the course of time. And would continue to learn.

Introductions were something special to Tamaki. He kept them deep in his heart, and often reflected how much a person had changed from the introduction. Sometimes he felt an aching pain in his chest, like he was missing something. But then he'd remember Tomorrow, and he'd feel better again. Because maybe tomorrow there'd be more introductions. Maybe tomorrow he'd meet new people. Maybe tomorrow he'd find out more secrets.

More than anything, he loved introducing people to each other. It was like stuffing ten chocolate bars and five Cokes into his mouth, like some sort of instant high. Just the thought of being the person to bring those two people together made him light up inside and grin. It wasn't only just, "You, this is this. You, this," to him. It was details and facts and numbers, and then watching as the two might talk, or laugh, or smile. Maybe they'd get along. He loved that potential.

Introductions. He had one of his own. His was different from the next. His were ever-changing.

Special.

Because, they'd grin, he was special. Grudgingly, tauntingly, sincerely they'd admit it. So special.

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**A/N: And there we have it. With a...unoriginal/predictable/cheesy ending, whatevs, wrote it ages ago. Have no idea when to update. Am doing this so can _a_) get my fabby publicity mojo back, and _b_) I need something to say sorry to my poor _In Circumstance_ babies who haven't seen an update from me in eons (i.e. a few weeks), despite IC being Fruits Basket and this is Host Club...**

**I'm just so ridiculously genius, aren't I? Oh well. _C'est la vie, non?_**

**You tots have to review. Like, honestly ;) Cause you love me THAT MUCH. Don't try to deny it ;)**


	2. Must Be A Daddy's Love

******A/N: _Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen..._ Ellie Goulding, it has to be said, did an amazing of Elton John's _Your Song._ Undeniable.**

******That's not the point. Another short, sweet drabble - main pairing are most likely some small mentionings of TamaxHaru, a little KaoxMei if you really _squint_... I don't know. Tamaki's POV, sort of.**

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**__**** #2: Love**

"Kyouya?" The blonde stretched out on the gilded lounger, balancing his cheek on his hand. The dark-haired boy looked up from his stiff set, his hand paused as a pen hover above his notepad.

"Yes?" The syllable was short, clipped - he was used to Tamaki's various queries.

"Have you..." He paused, bit his lip for a second. After confirming that Kyouya was seconds away from going back to his work, he blurted out, "Have you ever been in love?"

Kyouya put down his pen, then turned in his chair to face a curious Tamaki. "What's love to me?" he asked. His voice wasn't exactly cold, but more...detatched. "Exactly why would it matter to someone like me?"

Tamaki pouted. "Kyouya!" he whined. "That's silly! Love matters to _everyone_!" Clenching his fist, he added, "You'll find your love one day!"

Kyouya raised a sceptical eyebrow and asked, "Are you saying I haven't?"

Tamaki's mouth dropped open, his eyes widening, as he stared at Kyouya in shock. "_No_," he exclaimed, jolting upright. "Kyouya, you didn't _tell_ me? I thought you were my _friend!_"

Kyouya rolled his eyes. "Why are you acting like a girl?" he muttered. As Tamaki continued to give him the puppy eyes, he finally said, "Tamaki, of course I haven't fallen in love."

"Oh..." Tamaki sat for a second, clearly thinking, before saying, "Then we have to find you someone to love, right?"

"Wrong."

"Kyouya, you _know_ you want to."

"You know I don't."

"But _why not?"_

"Because," Kyouya announced, carrying on despite the fact that this would - at least temporarily - break Tamaki's heart, "I have a business to take over. I'm here to _learn_, not get caught up with conceited girls and silly dreams."

"Oh, but Kyouya..." Tamaki leaned further back on the sofa, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why wouldn't Kyouya want to be in love? Love was a wonderful thing - at least, that was what his mother had always told him. "That's such a _shame_."

"It really isn't." Casting a glance to his mourning friend, he continued, "Why do you raise the subject, hm?"

"I don't know..." Tamaki mumbled. "I was thinking about Haruhi - we had the best conversation about _peasant wagons_ today! - and then I just thought..." He shrugged.

Kyouya tried to not roll his eyes at his friend's blatant obliviousness. It was almost ridiculous. "You don't find it strange how you think of _Haruhi_ and then you think of _love_?"

Tamaki stared, wide-eyed, at Kyouya for a second. After a few minutes of gawping, his face lit up. "Of course!" he exclaimed. "A father's love!"

Kyouya couldn't supress the urge to roll his eyes this time. "Make what you will of it..." he muttered, returning back to his work.

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**A/N: Wow. Short. I know. Duuude, reviews? I got none, I mean babes, where's the love, yeah?**

**Whatever, love Kyouya and Tamaki. They are such babes. In a non-yaoi way. Ew, much? And no HikaHaru either, thanks. **

**Soo...it's snowing :3 best thing in the world LOL JK everyone gets to skive off school except me cause I live too close and it's totally freezing. Getting some Hunters, though. They're top wellies :) way better than the average...others. Cheapskates ;)**

**Love you guys! Possibly... Sort of... Well, whatever, ily :) Reviews go a long way ;) (to my ego). I KNOW this is utterly short, but don't kill me yet, kay? :)**


	3. Freedom Faller

******A/N: Ok, last chapter, I wrote some crap about saying I would write some random squinted KaoxMei - but, I hadn't written the full drabble yet and then I kind of veered off and forgot about those two, so yeah, there was NO KM last chap...**

******But there should've been ;)**

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_Light_

"His hair's like a friggin' halo..."

"His eyes are so _bright!_"

"I think his skin actually glows."

A pause, then the three girls looked at him, looked at each other, and sighed. "He's so _beautiful_," they gushed, smiling dreamily.

Tamaki strutted on down the grand corridor, making his way to Music Room 3. He cast a glance at the girls, smiling (beaming) and winking at them, before entering (running and crashing into the doors of) the host room and immediately announcing his halo-like, bright, glowing, and, of course, _beautiful _presence to his fellow hosts.

"It is I, your king, Tamaki! You may bow and kneel at my feet, I shall never reprimand you for it!" He flung his arms out, the doors slamming shut behind him, waiting expectantly.

Kyouya was, oddly enough, hunched over a table, pen in hand, scribbling something down in his neat calligraphy on his ever-present notebook. Hikaru was lounging on the sofa, whilst Kaoru sat cross-legged in front on him, leaning back, texting furiously. Hunny was leaning out the window, his face tilted up to the bright sky, Mori leaning against the wall as he stared blankly out the window.

They all ignored him.

Someone was missing. Tamaki pouted, still standing, examining every inch of the luxurious room before him as he tried to find the elusive Haruhi Fujioka. He narrowed his eyes, leaning forward, right on his tiptoes, just in case she was hiding _right there_, right on top of the extremely high wardrobe that not even Mori could reach, she _had_ to be-

"_Ow!_"

"...Sorry."

Tamaki glanced up at Haruhi, who was uncharacteristically bright red as she stared down at him.

How did they get into such a mess, with everyone snickering, or (in some cases), staring in horror at them? Of course, as Tamaki was so god damn certain that Haruhi was hiding on the wardrobe for some inexplicable reason, he'd heard the door open, and turned round a wee bit to have a look, then had someone (i.e. Haruhi) crash into him was some brutal force, knocking him off his tiptoes and onto the floor.

Someone squealed. Another sighed.

Kyouya, the utter charmer he was, stood in front of them and took a photo on his shiny digital camera.

Haruhi was still scrambling on him (to get off of him, obviously), and Tamaki was just lying there, completely bewildered at the strange feeling that thumped in his head and tingled down to his heart.

But it was... It was _wrong_ to think of Haruhi like that, to think of his sweet, beautiful daughter with anything other than a father's love.

Yet this love didn't quite seem fatherly...

Then something rammed into his shoulder, and, staring up, he realised the lack of heat from his body - Haruhi had gotten up, was looking at him quizzically as red hair flashed in the corner of his eye, a hand reaching for his cheek...

"Can't believe you held her like that!" someone familiar screamed. "You are such a pervert!"

"Hika, Hika!" a cheery voice called in the background. "Be careful!"

The random hits and punches stopped, allowing Tamaki to (gracefully, of course) get to his feet and take in the scene before him. Hikaru, glaring at him with a fierce anger, whilst Kaoru lurked beside him, a hand on his wrist. Kyouya leaned against the wall, camera and notebook in hand. Hunny was standing, clutching Mori's wrist, who was watching unsympathetically. A cluster of girls - the same who had been complimenting him before - giggling to each other through the open doors, peering through.

And Haruhi, her hair mussed a little, her cheeks still a rosy pink, staring.

Kaoru glanced, up, took a photo with his nifty new iPhone, then chortled away as he touched the screen, most likely sending some text (he was so anti-social).

Kyouya strode forward, closed the door firmly, then turned round and glared at a discombobulated Tamaki.

And the lights went out.

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**A/N: A...strange ending, I think you'll find. The whole drabble has nothing/little to do with lights, tbh. But, you know...it started with people commenting on how Tamaki glows etc - the light part - and then it kind of spiralled... And not very well :/ I don't think I wrote this v well! :S**

**C'est la vie. I love Haruhi and Tamaki! They are clearly babes. And Kaoru! Babe and, like, a million halves ;) I think Tamaki, Kaoru, and Mori are like, a cool friend group. No?**

**Also, Kaoru was texting Mei. Obvs. I love that couple! They only have four stories :( Come on guys, you know you love them ;)**

**And I love you! (sort of), which is why you review! ;)**


	4. Secret Shortcut

**A/N: Hiyaaa! i'm back! Some...I don't know, comic relief? Kidding, All my chaps so far have too much of my sarcastic, witty humour in them already ;) Sooo, merry berry Christmas! how was it? Did you get an icy Christmas? Or a white one? A sunny one? Er, no chance here :L**

**OMG, I didn't get ANY manga. Whatsoever. Got money to buy some (or Gossip Girl/Glee DVDs or Gossip Girl/Rachel Riley/The Luxe books ;) ), but none in person. How annoying is that? But I did get Touche Eclat, which is fab ;)**

**Um...this isn't Christmassy. Should it be? Yes. Whatever. Love ya! :D

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**

_Dark_

"Is this safe?"

Tamaki gave Hikaru a look and carried on trudging through a dingy alley.

"It's a secret shortcut, of course it's safe!" Tamaki countered, narrowly avoiding a brown-looking puddle.

"But it's cold!" Hunny whined, wrapping himself further round Mori's back, who nodded solemnly.

"And dark," Kaoru muttered.

"It's noon, Tamaki," Kyouya intoned, leveling his gaze with that of the blond's. "But it's dark."

Tamaki didn't reply. So what if he wanted to go a secret shortcut? Why wasn't everyone else excited? After all, it was _secret_, which had to make it totally ad completely amazing. Not that the dirty bricks or slimy ground exactly screamed 'beyond your wildest dreams' or anything, but...it was a shortcut!

Then there was a scream, piercing and a muffled sort of loud, like it came from inside. Everyone looked to Haruhi, who had just slipped, but she shook her head, accepting Mori's hand up.

She frowned as she twisted round, glancing at the back of her trousers. Looking up, seeing everyone still staring at her, she said, "It wasn't me."

Tamaki continued to eye her skeptically. She merely rolled her eyes ad dusted herself off, ignoring Tamaki as she turned to Kyouya.

"Do you even know where we are?" she demanded, her voice accusing.

Kyouya slid off his glasses, polishing them with the cuff of his sleeve. Finally, he looked back to an impatient Haruhi, and said, "I have no idea."

"Ky-you-ya!" Hunny exclaimed, pummeling Mori's back.

"You don't know?" the twins asked, looking aghast.

Tamaki seemed stricken. "But you were the tour guide!" he yelped, a hand flying to him mouth.

"You were the one who took us to the 'secret shortcut'."

Tamaki pouted. So what if the secret shortcut had involved climbing up a ladder, jumping off a wall, and going through several mysterious doors? That was why it was _secret, duh._

Another bunch of screams rand past them.

"I'm scared~!" Hunny wailed, burrowing his head into Mori's shoulder.

"i think this is a death trap," Hikaru stage-whispered.

"Tamaki's trying to kill us all!" Kaoru whispered that, both looking as terrified as possible.

Tamaki igored them, feeling his way through the dark, until he found a handle. He turned it, and a door swung open. Grinning tiumphantly - he was _not_ trying to kill them! - he lead his friends through the door, turning left and walking straight into-

"Ohmigod it's a walking skeleton oh my god everyone run!" Tamaki screeched, darting through the group to run forward.

Not a second later did a head pop out of the wall, with dark red eyes and straggly hair, prompting Tamaki to burst into screams and the twins into hysterical laughter as they jogged behind him.

"Where-where are we?" Tamaki gasped as they reach the end of the corridor, leaning back on the (hope fake( blood-splattered wall and panting. "Are we in the devil's home? What did I do wrong? What have I done to deserve this?"

"If my studies are to be proved correct," Kyouya said, strolling towards then with the skeleton's skull, "then you ay find that this is a _haunted house._"

"A haunted house..." Tamaki breathed. "Of course."

It was at this point that Hikaru and Kaoru really couldn't contain their snickers, Hunny chuckling along as well as Haruhi eyed Tamaki will loathing.

"I cannot believe you dragged us into this." She looekd like she was about to slap him, when someone inferior like a _janitor_ (oh, the horror!) walked up to them, glaring at them (or, more specifically, Kyouya).

"Come with me," he ordered in a curt voice, giving them such furious evils that even Hunny deflated and followed.

After a million hour-long lecture on vandalism and a ban from the house, they were finally allowed to leave.

"So much for the secret shortcut," Hikaru muttered.

Tamaki gave him a hurt look, but ignored him. At least it wasn't dark anymore.

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**A/N: And here we have it! Still strangely short, whatever. Feels a bit wooden...am I losing my superpowers? The shock!**

**So... Happy New Years or...a few days ;)**

**Love ya! Review, my loves :)**


	5. Some Situation

**A/N: Long tiime, no seeeee...how was Xmas? Get fab pressies? Get £90 on-sale Hudson skinny jeggings? Thought not ;)**

**This is... Well... I thought about one, I thought about another, I thought about everyone, you know... ;) It's the kind of thing that can be cliched so badly I actually, you know, want to do the same.**

_**Enjoy**_** )**

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_Seeking Solace_

Tamaki had come to appreciate everything around him: Kyouya's relentless friendship, Mori's sometimes agonizing silence, Hunny's overwhelming cuteness, Hikaru's moods and the way Kaoru calmed them down, and, of course, Haruhi's bluntness, her cropped hair, how _vulnerable_ she could be.

Everyone could be vulnerable, he knew. His weak spot was his mother, left behind in France again, his sometimes-but-not-often cold grandmother. He had a tendency to wonder - and worry - about his friends', and had several ideas, a general thing. Haruhi's was her mother, perhaps, and definitely thunder. It was almost heart-warming to see her cry about a few clashes and bright light, really. Kyouya's was...his father? His friends? Some abstract thing Tamaki could only dream of? It was always one he was stuck on, because Kyouya hated to show any emotion besides vague happiness and general boredom. Tamaki had decided that it was probably _people_ - but which kind, if it was Tamaki and the Host Club, or if it was his brothers and sister and father, completely evaded him.

Hikaru and Kaoru's was clearly their past, the one thing they shared for definite - even if they had their own versions, it was still the _same_. Tamaki had a feeling Hikaru sort of resented him for being with Haruhi, and that the girl was clearly the twin's Achilles' heel, that she could make him worry almost as much as she made Tamaki worry. Kaoru's was...probably his twin. Tamaki had never seen someone care so much for someone like that, and it was clear in everything Kaoru did: smoothing over the rough edges his twin left behind; sometimes not even asking the simplest questions, but just _being_ there in a way Tamaki had never understood; even what he said had impact, usually so much deeper in meaning that Hikaru. Kaoru was like that, though, often having cryptic conversation with Mori or Kyouya that no one understood. Perhaps Mei was a sore point as well - she was always talking about a new boyfriend, and all Tamaki could always see the smallest hint of sadness in him.

Mori's was, Tamaki assumed, Hunny. One was never seen without the other, like they somehow fitted together. He often wondered what it was like to be such close friends with someone like that. Or maybe it was his younger brother, Satoshi, who was always getting into all sorts of trouble with his friends. He always called Mori, chattering away whilst Mori grunted and nodded, sometimes giving words of caution. They were always received by a chirpy voice, but Mori had recently confided that Satoshi was prone to nightmares, and the anxiety in Mori's voice had been very clear, very obvious.

Hunny's was his younger brother. It was sweet, if not strange, to see the pair together: indignant Chika standing about a head above his adorable, if not strong, brother. Chika obviously worried about Hunny too, which was sweet. Although it was almost as difficult to read Hunny as it was to get Mori - he was always acting so sweet and kind and cute, it was sometimes hard to see beneath the sugarcoating to the boy underneath. Hunny had a tendency to be concerned with Mori from time to time, after a particularly distressing morning or a frantic phone call. As carefree as Hunny seemed, he could worry needlessly from time to time, and the objects of this were usually Chika and Mori. It was sweet, really.

Tamaki frowned as he crossed his legs. He settled deeper into the cushioned cream sofa. It was almost osting time, but everyone, _everyone_, was late. Wat was this? Usually Kyouya _lived_ in the host room - why on earth wouldn't he, the most organized, perfect, punctual boy in the world, even _think_ of being late? It was almost offensive, really.

He checked his watch again - _five minutes, Kyouya, or you're going _down - and crossed his legs again, his fingernails tapping incesantly against the plush fabric. Really, what was _keeping_ everyone?

Finally, the twins burst through the entrance, the doors crashing into the wall before closing. Tamaki jumped up, one finger pointed to begin a lecture, when he saw the looks on his friends' faces. Some kind of disgust was overpowering Hikaru's mischevious features, whilst Kaoru just shook his head, a fist clutching to his heart.

"What's wro-"

Fingers closed round his wrist as the twins dragged him out the room, racing along the corridor and down the steps, sidestepping a door and dashing through another and into the secret place Tamaki had been told about by his dad. The twins stepped away, closing and bolting the door, and slid down to sit with Mori, who was staring woodenly at his tiny mobile, whilst Haruhi looked like she was fighting tears next to him. Kyouya, hunched up opposite Tamaki, was wordless.

The room was small, with just enough room for the seven of them. The dark wooden floor glinted in the dim light, the dark curtains drawn over the large window. Tamaki often came here to seek solace, to stay hidden - he was clearly not the only one.

He sat down, cross-legged, across from Mori, the one apparently in trouble. With some gentle urging and a prodding on the knee, Mori finally opened up - and then he smiled.

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**A/N: Shitty ending, shitty story, shittinnessss! But you can't fit 'seeking solace' in a story and make it seem subtle, can you? God, kill me now. It got a bit out of hand, didn't it? About 1000 words, not logically a drabble... C'est la vie :/**

**Love ya ;)**


	6. One Day, Some Day

**A/N: I know. I know. This is meant to be a thing I can update, like, every three days, and it's taken me a zillion years to update. I suck! Whatever. I'm a procrastinator by slightly shite nature. C'est la vie. Hey, maybe now that I've done this, I'll sort out In Circumstance!**

**(Unlikely.) *also trying to remain positive* YES! This is finally done. You know how long it took? Five minutes. Tops. I was writing on my non-internet compy last night (it's where my two other multi-chaptered non-internet non-completed Host Club fics are) and I was like, _I need to go to bed..._ But then I saw CoF and clicked it, saw Break Away and started writing. Five minutes! Jesus Christ.**

**Disclaimer: Hello, I'm Hatori Bisco and I own Tamaki, Kyouya, Kaoru, yesyes... KIDNON I own nothing. Except my inimitable wit.**

**Break Away**

Tamaki hated goodbyes. They tore at his soul in a way beyond comparison - it was easy if he knew there was a definite _yes_ in the question of would he ever see that person again. It was easy if it was a daily thing, like saying goodbye to Kyouya, or Mori, or his dog. It was easy if it was a joke of a bye, if it wasn't really a goodbye at all. It was easy, really...

Until it was too hard. Until it was difficult for the words to leave his mouth, for him to cultivate a sentence that would be a definite farewell. To think - him, speechless! But it could happen. It had happened. Once, only once - but it was enough for him to gain a definite dislike for the goodbye. Why say goodbye anyway? What use did it have? Closure? Joy? Sadness? All goodbyes did was cause despair and hurt to everyone. Pointless words.

At least, he once thought that, Once - a long time ago. Now...goodbyes meant something else. Anticipation for the next day - a chance for a hug and a wave - excitement to see the other person as soon as possible.

Saying goodbye...to his mother, had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. Holding her, for the last time- smelling her fragrance- feeling her touch- having the comforting knowledge of her being _there_- none of that was left. That was gone from him, merely a memory. He loved his mother so much. _So_ much.

And he was determined that, for her, he'd be the Suoh head she could be proud of. Someone who could do nothing short of save the world. Someone revered, respected, _loved_ - someone who could break away from the mould of every other CEO and become someone that really meant _something_.

He hated goodbyes, loved his mother - and one day, when he took over Suoh Corps and challenged the world, he'd find her again. He wouldn't have to say goodbye. They'd live together happily, his father and his mother in love again and him, Tamaki Suoh, at the head of the company. It could happen. It was his future. He was going to _make _it happen.


End file.
